The Neuman Parable
by WierdDinosaurWritesNeumanFics
Summary: This is a story of love,action and adventure,join our heroes on there quest.
1. Chapter 1

Link entered the chat,only to see Wierd and Flame rubbing against eachother in the nude,the moan ,there faces red as roses

Link backed away,covering his mouth,his body tingling at the sight "W..what happening" he said to himself quitely ,in the corner of his eye he saw Mia engaged in a fight to the death with Bizzaro Neuman

Link focused on Wierd and Flame,feeling the urge to join but he resisted for he knew he promised his body to Mia

As wierd and flame continued to wrestle and moan in the nude,he looked and saw Zeke,covering his ears and eyes

" Ahh...Flame i always knew you loved me " Said Wierd holding Flames face in his hands. They gazed into eachothers eyes for what seemed like an eternity before they kissed,licking inside eachovers mouths

The room suddenly went quite as everyone turned to Mia and Bizzaro Neuman,Bizarro Neuman stood untop of Mia laughing "You will never defeat me! "

Suddenly a burst of lighting hit Mia,causing a large explosion blowing everyone back, Mia stood up,There hair golden like a god. Mia turned and looked at everyone before a single boom was heard,Mia  
grabbed Bizzaro Neumans heart and yanked it out,licking it gleefully before swallowing it whole "eheheh" Mia laughed. "A..ah.." held his chest coughing up blood

The hypothetical camera zoomed back to Zeke,who was crying like a baby,bleeding from his ears ,it then continues panning to The real Neuman playing with his Louise figurine.

The camera continues to move eventually stopping at a pair of pink curtains,with the words printed on it "OFFLINE" they slowly started to open,emitting a blinding white light

The story resumed back to Wierd and Flame,recovering from the explosion caused by the lightning "What the bloody hell was that" Wierd said picking up his glasses " I don't know.."

Flame gasped as he saw mia,the great golden hair as he/she/it floats in the air,devouring Bizarro Neumans Body "W..What the F*ck.." Flame falls onto his butt and shivers. Wierd laughs at this sight.

Mia finishes devouring grinning "ahh..such a good meal..." Mia burps and gives off a feminine giggle-

Mia's body cools down as his/her/it's hair turns back to its normal colour. Flame p*sses himself in fear

Mia wonders off into the darkness,not appearing until later in this Fic. Flame exhales and wipes his forehead "I thought Mia was going to kill us all.." Wierd laughs at what he heard from Flame "No"  
"Mia will come back for us,Bizarro Neuman filled her up.. "

But there is another threat out there...Bizarro isn't Neumans only evil Twin..There is also...NegaNeuman..." Lightning hits in the distance,a faint growl can be heard


	2. Chapter 2

~~~~~~~~~~Chapter 2~~~~~~~~~

Flame and Wierd continued to make out,slowly undressing eachother,licking eachother's body. "Oooh...Flame.." Wierd moans in pleasure his face getting redder and redder.

Wierd removes Flames trousers and underwear before smiling and licking his lips "D..don't look at me like that" Flame looks away,giving off a faint smile.

Neuman played with his Maid Louise figurine and smiled to himself "hehe.."

Mia terrorised a small town laughing as she devoured small children and decapitated anyone she see's with pink energy beams "AHAHAHHA"

She spots a young puppy,nussling the dead body of its owner. She desends down to the puppy and holds its head in her hand and crushes it

The camera pans to Link,watching Wierd and Flame,trying to resist his urges "I..I must save myself for Mia"  
Link remembered back to when he was young and playing with Mia "What happened to you Mia..what happened.." He looks back up to see Flame and Wierd doing some very very disgusting things that the author dared not to write as he could be sent to jail.

Link looked down to see somthing hard forming and used his shirt to cover it up "N..no..I'm not..into guys..."

Mia stood in the burning rubble of the village,chewing on the head of an adult man. "I'm so bored.." Her hair turned back to normal and sat down

She looked up into the sky and saw a shadow getting larger,she squinted her eyes as she screamed for a split second before there was a large explosion,the words echoed to everyone "NegaNeuman.."


	3. I love you Link xoxoxo Chapter 3

Link was lounging around with Squid,staring at the sky,they both sit up at the same time and sigh "We need to do something"Whines Squid. "Let's go annoy Shadow,he's just sitting over there on his own,doing nothing but playing with goop.." They both stand up at almost the same time and charge at Shadow,but as it turns out it was only a shadow,then giant purple pigs flew around,no one knew why but they were there...

Uncle watches everyone with keen eyes before fading into the shadows

And so the pig took a giant dump on the ground with carrots growing from it,also there is a giant cat did i mention that i must have.. wait what am i talking about again i don't remember

Squid and Link stare into the distance "He is here"


	4. Chapter 4 The Reckoning

NegaNeuman was closing in on Squid and Link, drooling wildly he could almost smell them even though they were so far eyes were pure white and his skin was light grey,his hair was a dark grey,he wore little to no clothes,only a loincloth.

Link and Squid ran as fast as there legs could take,sweating slightly and breathing heavily. " Y..you said someone is here..Who is it" Squid asked "I'll tell you when we are sav...save" They stop in a large forest looking around desperately for a place to hide. "Dammit he will find us ...here" Link spots a small cave hidden under a large tree root and smiles. "Squid we are going in there" They crawl into the hole in the ground and use the root to cover the entrance. Squid take out a his phone and uses it as a light source,revealing a rocky tunnel leading deeper into the earth.

Wierd was laying down sleeping on a decaying corpse of a pig that he killed with a rock. "hmmm..." he mumbles in he mumbles in his sleep,obviously not waking up for a few more hours.

Sounanoka was playing with her tail,wondering if it could be used to pleasure herself,she shakes her head and continues walking and goes to a cafe where she works.

Neuman was sitting in his room and playing Pokemon Y grinding up his Porkyman. THE MUTHAFURKING END ARSE HOLES SO GO TO SLEEP NOW.


	5. SOMETHING

**_mmm yes yes i see you there watching me,with your cold eyes,your empty emotionless eyes...ENJOY_**

**_Umm i forgot what happened last time and i can't be bothered to re-read, so have something completely different_**

Everyone stood sat in a circle picking there noses,there was no stream and only a couple people was there.

Flame: So guys how about we actually do something and not sit here circle-jerking each other!

Shadow:But we have no lives and watch anime and read Visual Novels,we are worthless

Squid: **_I HAVE TENTACLES _**

Squids Father: Yes son now eat your pea's

Flame: Wait what is that in the distance,that blinding heavenly light...

Kyonn: IT IS I,KYONN I AM HERE TO BRING YOU PLEASURE AND JOY

**_AND SO KYONN DID THAT...THATS IT END OF STORY_**


End file.
